The Silence

Abstract: This poem centers on the oppressive nature of the Iranian government’s laws on homosexuality. Within their law, those who are not heterosexual can be punished either by death or by gender reassignment surgery, which implies that changing the gender of a homosexual person will make the person heterosexual by default. This poem is written from the perspective of a queer Iranian person addressing their oppressive government. The poem focuses on conveying the thoughts and emotions that might be experienced when being put in such an impossible situation.

The silence awakens a part of me that I sometimes wish didn’t exist.

The part that makes me dangerous and hunted,

An outcast,

An enemy,

A fugitive within my own country.

On sleepless nights

I imagine being a bird,

Untouchable and free in skies above,

Truly safe.

Is that too much to ask for?

I have hurt no one,

Yet I am the villain.

My crime of existence is somehow worse

Than your crime of taking my life.

If my life is too important to lose,

You, the government, graciously suggest

That I could change my body.

But that is far more cruel.

You are correct,

I could change my body.

But then it would no longer be mine,

It would be yours.

Just like everything else.

I could give up my identity,

My entire sense of self,

For the simple chance to breathe the morning air.

But what is that if not a cage of my own making?

You act as my judge, my jury, my executioner.

You determine my punishment:

A life of questionable existence

Or no existence at all.

My choice is clear,

I don’t have one.

Giving up my self or giving up my life:

Are they not one in the same?

Why do you get to decide who lives and who dies?

Why must I plead at your feet,

To beg for mercy and claim ignorance,

Only for the chance to see tomorrow?

To fight you is exhausting.

I am always outnumbered,

I never win.

If I were you,

And you were me,

Would you finally understand what you ask of me?

Would you finally understand what you’ve done,

The horrors you’ve caused,

The lives you’ve ruined?

You can hunt us down,

You can eradicate us from our country,

But we will always exist.

Somewhere,

Far from your reach,

We will exist.

Far from your archaic ideals,

We love openly and without fear,

And we exist.

But leaving is not so easy;

Escape is not always possible.

There are things,

There are people,

That we cannot leave behind.

We exist even when we cannot leave.

When we cannot run.

We exist when we hide in the shadows.

Just because you cannot see us,

Does not mean that we are not here.

The ghosts of my people are screaming.

The survivors are screaming.

We are screaming.

Why can’t anyone hear us?

The gods remain silent.

The world remains silent.

Iran remains silent.

When will it end?