You Have to Romanticize Your Own Life

Small. Insignificant. A grain of sand in the vastest of oceans that sways along with the tide, inevitably buried beneath the surface. Maybe I’ll see the sun, maybe I’ll stay 40,000 feet away from any glimmer of light, with no real impact on anything. If I didn’t exist then there would be no difference. No one cares. No one cares.

No one cares.

If no one cares… why do I limit myself to living the average, conventional life? Wearing what is expected of me and walking in a way that does little more than take my body from Point A to Point B? Passing by beautiful views and flowers and animals without appreciation? Worrying about the future and stressing over the past so excessively that the future becomes the past without really living it? Why? For who? Why can’t my grain of sand have a story, with colours and grooves and divots that all show where I’ve been, with passion, drive, and motivation to guide me to where I am going? This is my story. No matter how small or insignificant it may be to this vast world, it can still be beautiful and meaningful. This is my story. I am the main character.

A constant fear of mine, since about the age of fourteen, is that I am running out of time. My life is slowly slipping away, and I cannot do anything to stop it. When I express this fear, the response from older generations is frequently, “ Meghan, you’re twenty! You have plenty of time. These are the best years of your life, just enjoy it.” Well, there is a lot to unpack in that response. To start, who’s to say I have plenty of time? Not to tempt the Universe, but no one knows their own fate. Secondly, the “best years of my life” have been spent living through a global pandemic that has greatly reduced the population, so is my existentialism really that uncalled for? While older generations tend to dismiss this fear as irrational, the rest of Generation Z seems to share my concern.

We have been born into a world where our future isn’t promised, whether it’s global warming, economic destruction, or a virus that takes it from us. We are scared of dying before having a life worth living. But how do we have a life worth living when so little is in our control? This is what sparked my interest in Protagonist Syndrome.

Protagonist Syndrome, also known as the main character syndrome, describes when “a person views themselves as the main character in a work of fiction. Everything this person does all fits into a narrative” (Wilcox, 2020). Protagonist Syndrome can be seen as vaguely narcissistic. However, the newer generations have built an age in which self-care and self-love aren’t considered selfish. We welcome this new era where self-admiration is encouraged and applauded. “While the terminology might be specific to 2020 internet speak, then, feeling like the main character is nothing really out of the ordinary in the wider spectrum of human behaviour” (Meley, 2020). The act of falling in love with oneself is finally being given its much-awaited value, along with self-fulfillment and internal validation. Protagonist Syndrome, in my experience, has had an undeniable impact on helping me to “fall in love with myself.” Protagonist Syndrome is a mindset that can be acquired or adopted with intentional change. My quality of life has significantly improved with the decision to take control of what I can, let go of what I cannot, and appreciate everything, both the good and the bad.

A major catalyst for this mindset change was its spark in popularity on social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram, and Pinterest:

Perhaps the epitome of inspirational main character content is a now viral soundbite from Ashley Ward, which was created on 26th May 2020 and has since been used in over 93,000 videos. With a harp melody in the background, she says: ‘You have to start romanticizing your life. You have to start thinking of yourself as the main character. Cause if you don’t, life will continue to pass you by, and all the little things that make it so beautiful will continue to go unnoticed. So, take a second and look around, and realise that it’s a blessing for you to be here right now.’ (Meley, 2020)

This inspirational content has created a movement where teenagers and young adults are reclaiming their youth even amidst a global pandemic, choosing to focus on the beautiful aspects of life rather than the multitude of losses they are suffering. Even the suffering is approached in a healthy, positive light, as character development and opportunities for personal growth:

Protagonists live […] with the knowledge that they are responsible for their lives. Protagonists understand that their choices will lead their life towards their goals. When you take ownership and be grateful in your own skin and lead with the giving heart, then you are THE protagonist of your own life. Your feet will be grounded. And no one can stand in your way. And when you look back, you will have accomplished it all. (Hoh, 2014)

The Protagonist Syndrome mindset is by no means an all-around cure. Like any belief system, it must be utilized with faith that it will ease problems, not solve them. Protagonist Syndrome will assist with the journey towards inner-peace and understanding, facilitate healing, and attract other humans, experiences, and opportunities that carry the same good energy. The main character will always experience turbulence and heartbreak, but it is how they deal with it that leads them to the next chapter. It’s a beautiful world out there, and I may only be 0.000000014286% of it, but the liberation I get from seeing myself as 100% is enough to convince me to romanticize the hell out of the way the sun caresses my face, how the wind slides along my arms, and the happy, atmospheric music that plays through my AirPods, setting a contented tone as I walk back to my dorm after studying in a downtown café.

Maybe later, Meghan will call her friends up to go for a drive down to the beach. The speckled pavement beneath her is annoyingly similar to that of her hometown, but she shakes the backstory out of her headlike a bad dream. She made it out. She is now the main character in her own story.

References

Hoh, C. (2014). The Protagonist. HuffPost. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ protagonist_b_4482842

Karson, M. (2015). On Being the Main Character of Your Own Life. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-our-way/201501/ being-themain-character-your-own-life

Meley, C. (2020, September 29). TikTok is teaching Gen Z what it really means to be the main character. i-D. Vice Media. Retrieved from https://i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/akzby4/tiktok-is- teaching-gen-z-what-itreally-means-to-be-the-main-character

Wilcox, E. (2020, December 11). Why You May Need a Healthy Dose of “Main Character Syndrome.” Medium. Retrieved from https://medium.com/mind-cafe/why-you- may-need-a-healthy-doseof-main-character-syndrome-288ec2b34411